The news broke last night. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG) died at the age of 87 after an epic battle with cancer. Our world is a little darker without her luminous mind at work on behalf of all who feel discrimination. Many will wax on her contribution to women’s’ rights, the supreme court, and even popular culture. I’ll leave such eloquence to others more qualified that I. Instead, I will comment simply on something she said in an interview.  

Justice Ginsburg was asked about her mother, who died when Ruth was just 17 years old. RBG recounted that her mother told her to be “a lady and be independent.” While this advice, on its surface seems old fashioned, I’ll dissent and argue that this wisdom it is completely relevant to our world today – whatever your gender. 

 “Be a lady.” The Justice explained that being a lady meant staying in control of one’s emotions. I don’t think a coaching session goes by without my emphasizing to clients, male and female, the importance of being intentional in their communication. Intention was everything to the Justice. Watch and listen to videos of her speak. Read her dissents. Her words are slow, thoughtful, and packed with meaning. RBG only said what she meant and did not waste a syllable on reactivity, or chance that her audience might misunderstand her meaning. What an awesome example for all of us. If we were to spend a moment breathing, considering our words, and considering others’ perceptions, imagine our greater collective impact. 

 “Be independent.” In the same interview, Justice Ginsburg explained that her mother wished for her a profession, a way to be financially and emotionally independent. We all can learn from this advice. For RBG this meant writing a narrative defined by her passion for the equality and law. What is your passion? What are your goals? Take control of your career. What is in your way? Start charting your course with determination and confidence in your ability to influence the world. 

 Perhaps Justice Ginsburg’s greatest legacy is teaching each of us to parse our words and not to settle for anything other than living an extraordinary life.